NEWS

Jan. 15, 2007:

NEW BLACK TRACTOR ALBUM?
In an announcement that rocked religious and paranormal groups across the globe, Cincinnati based heavy metal band Black Tractor has revealed a first in the annals of music history. The band claims to be possesed by a bitter and severely mediocre musician's spirit. The spirit belongs to one Moseley Reginald Blaide, a man who met his early death in a 1983 landscaping accident. At the time of his death, Blaide was writing what he considered to be his masterwork. These rough recordings are now in the possesion of Jizzy Bottom, the man who was Blaide's musical compatriot and songwriting partner. Moseley's Bernie Taupin, if you will. Bottom claims Black Tractor have never heard Moseley's recordings and claims he wants a songwriting credit on anything Black Tractor releases under Moseley's influence. Mr. Bottom may very well have to take Black Tractor to court as they are claiming thier entire upcoming album is completely written and performed by Mr. Blaide, via Black Tractor. They claim absolutely no responsibility for the contents of the upcoming disc. "It's as if we had a very bad musician with a gun to our head..." That's what Black Tractor's lead guitarist El Sid had to say about the entire creative process.
"Shitty riff after shitty riff, poorly delivered and trite vocal performances. I've never been a part of anything so shitty. It's really quite embarassing." Black Tractor's record company 3rd Silo have offered Mr. Bottom an undisclosed amount of money for the early Blaide tapes. Any offers have been rejected as Bottom claims "I'm gonna be ready when the money starts coming in. Shit. Fuck that. 3rd Silo aint gonna fuck Jizzy Bottom, no fuckin' way" Either way, it looks like the public have another Black Tractor album to look forward to. Or maybe a Moseley R. Blaide album.

Jan. 23, 2005:

Johnny Potatoes sits down with localmetal.com for a chat. Click here to read...

Sept. ??, 2005

BLACK TRACTOR IN CLEAR VIOLATION!!!
This is an e-mail we got from this Bucket-o-Douche, and our response:
Dear Johnny Potatoes:
My name is Derek Angell, founder and lead guitarist of the Tampa based rock band Black Tractor. We have been recording/performing in the area for 8 years now and have developed an ample following. Our touring has been limited to the Southeast, though we are planning an Atlantic Coast/Eastern Midwest tour over this summer. Johnny, we understand you sing in a band of the same name in the Cincinnati area. We had the name "Black Tractor" copyrighted in 1998 and would prefer to avoid any confusion when we visit Cincinnati later this year. Indeed, your band is in clear violation of Title 17, Section 104 of the United State Code.
At this time I would like to respectfully request that you cease and desist from any future use of the name "Black Tractor". I am sure both of us would prefer to avoid a long and arduous legal course of action. However, our lawyers are prepared to take action if necessary. Some other catchy names might include "Black Tiller" or "Black Backhoe Loader". Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I will be checking your band's progress within the next few weeks. Thank you for your cooperation. Sincerely, Derek Angell
Black Tractor:
djangell1234@hotmail.com
(309) 765-8000 (cell)

JOHNNY POTATOE'S RESPONSE: Dear Derek,
My name is Johnny Potatoes, founder and lead singer of the Cincinnati based rock band Black Tractor. We have been recording/performing in the area for 8 years and 1 day now and have developed absolutely no following. Nobody comes to our shows at all. Our touring has been limited to central Cincinnati, though we are planning to tour west and northwest Cincinnati over this summer. Derek, we understand you play guitar in a band of the same name in the Tampa. area. You had the name "Black Tractor" copyrighted in 1994 and you would prefer to avoid any confusion when you visit Cincinnati later this year. Indeed, we could not give less of a fuck. My shitty band is in clear violation of Title 69, Section 666 of the United States Code. At this time I would like to respectfully request that you cease and desist from any future use of the name "Black Tractor". I am sure both of us would prefer to avoid a long and arduous legal course of action. However, our lawyers are prepared to take action if necessary. Some other catchy names might include "Black Asshole" or "Black Person." Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I will be checking your band's progress within the next few weeks. Thank you for your cooperation. Sincerely, Johnny F. Potatoes, Black Tractor P.S. When you guys come to Cincinnati, call us and we'll get you on the bill. Black Tractor and Black Tractor. What a show!! Seriously.
666 stands for Satan.
We never heard back from them.